A picture is worth a thousand words

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What would you do if the person who you think could cure all the pain is the one you couldn't ever have? Frustrating eh? </3 Anyway, i'm not in the mood to talk about that right now. Today isn't just the right timing. On the flipped side however, i'm gonna share an article i've read in the newspaper earlier (last week pa toh na issue pero ngayon ko pa nabasa :D). This one's really worth reading and somehow I can relate myself to it. :')

x X x

Why am I still friends on FB with my ex, my current girlfriend wants to know. Here’s how social media can make relationships more complicated

By Joshua AF Dy

Philippine Daily Inquirer

12:43 am | Friday, November 23rd, 2012

Eric, 17, was texting furiously while we waited in line to watch an action flick in the mall. His new girlfriend was angry with him; he had not yet updated his relationship status on Facebook.

Now, Eric is a handsome chinito who probably has more female friends than male friends on his Facebook account. Not a single day goes by without a posting on his Wall from one of these female friends expressing admiration for Eric.

Among these female friends online is his current girlfriend, who, minutes after she accepted Eric as her boyfriend, updated her relationship status, tagging Eric. He has not yet approved the tag, nor has he changed his relationship status on the popular social media website. Now, she’s furious over it.

I couldn’t help but feel sorry for Eric. I had been in the same situation, although I think, unlike me, Eric had it coming. You couldn’t punish a man for being good looking, but when a girl feels wronged, she is often wronged. That’s why, unlike Eric, I had totally dropped off the edge of the digital planet. I have no Facebook account, and  bliss quickly took over my two-year relationship.

If you are on Facebook and are currently in a relationship, chances are you have experienced a fight over a status. Worse, you and your girlfriend would have fought over a “like” of some sexy photo your female friend posted.

Much ado

One could argue that you shouldn’t be doing it, but it seems justified to rail that there has already been much ado over an overexcited comment on your ex’s post. But hey, why are you even friends with your ex? Why not, I say!

I had been in the same situation as Eric. Somehow, that is. That’s why early this year, I deleted my Facebook account. Deactivated it, actually, but don’t tell my girlfriend that. You see, I’m friends with my ex-girlfriend. It was quite a long relationship, so there’s bound to be some feelings left, or maybe it’s just really deep friendship between the two of us. We went to the same school, and had some common friends who we have both known for years. So, I was thinking that somehow it was  inevitable that we would bump into each other, so we might as well be friends on Facebook.  As Spock would have said, it’s only logical, right?

If only  it was that simple.  I posted a photo of mine one day. Lo and behold! My ex-girlfriend was the first one to comment on it. She cracked a joke, which I thought was funny, so I liked it and posted my own comment to her comment. Well, it isn’t like we’re strangers. Clearly we had much to say to each other; we were together for  a long time.  I was happily exchanging comments with my ex-girlfriend when I was notified that my current girlfriend liked one of my comments!

I already smelled trouble somehow, but being the optimist that I am, I continued my exchange with my ex. I would later on realize that a like is not a green light to continue. It’s more like, “I know what you’re up to.  You better stop it.” Of course, I didn’t know it then, so I got into trouble with my present girlfriend for it.

Just when I thought that the storm had passed, another one hit me, with a stronger signal. You see, Facebook has this way of thwarting the continuum of time. You can’t actually say past is past, since a quick scroll down your Timeline reveals a comprehensive overview of what you had been doing on social media.

Worse, Facebook  has a way of bringing up the past. For example, when a friend makes a new comment on your old photo, it would reappear on your News Feed. It becomes current news on your and your friends’ News Feed.

This introduces a whole new problem when trying to bury the past, hidden from the mind of your somewhat love-crazed girlfriend. Old wounds could easily be opened, even after you have successfully healed it with a romantic harana outside her house. It may have been forgiven, but it will never be forgotten. Thanks to Facebook.

Undone

Some time after the first storm had already passed, my ex-girlfriend posted a new comment on some photos.  It was then republished on my News Feed as well as on my girlfriend’s.  All the work that a dozen red roses had done to get it behind us was undone by a single comment. We fought again because she thought that I was rekindling my romance with my ex-girlfriend. Why am I even friends with her in the first place, she asked. I said, we’re just friends. Besides, it’s only Facebook.

It wasn’t our last fight, nor was it the worst. But I thought it illustrated how Facebook “digitalized” (and supposedly simplified) our relationship with other people. I thought it was a whole new way of relating to other people, free from the drama of the real world. But it turned out to be basically the same story, except that, since info travels much more faster, it also complicates things faster.

The funny thing is, guys easily dismiss their digital “indiscretion” as if it’s far removed from the real world, although they are experiencing its pervasiveness and potential to complicate the real world at the moment.

So, after a few more fights, made all the more exhausting because I thought we were fighting over a petty thing, I deleted my Facebook account. We still fight, though not as often as we did when I was hyper-connected with my friends digitally. Occasionally, I  activate my account quickly just to check on the lives of friends, but only when she’s asleep and wouldn’t know.

We were nearing the entrance when Eric decided to turned off his cell phone, and for a while forget about his new girlfriend, who just wouldn’t let the matter go. He would soon face the music, though, but at least, for now, he could watch the movie with us. Besides, I told him my experience after we went out for coffee. I hope he’ll be better equipped to handle it. If not, he still has those expressive eyes and winning smile.

OURS

I have never felt anything like this before. I'm good with just about anything, I'm very confident and yet when it comes to you, I seem to go asdfghjkl loco! :'D Oh well. I'm excited about something. I feel ecstatic yet nervous about it. Sunday, come fast and be good to me. :'* As they say, there's always a FIRST TIME. We'll be having OURS. ^____^

I miss you

Hello thereThe angel from my nightmareThe shadow in the background of the morgueThe unsuspecting victimOf darkness in the valleyWe can live like Jack and SallyIf we wantWhere you can always find meAnd we'll have halloween on christmasAnd in the night we'll wish this never endsWe'll wish this never ends
I miss you(I miss you)
Where are you?And I'm so sorryI cannot sleepI cannot dream tonightI need somebody and alwaysThis 6 string's darknessComes creeping on so haunting every timeAnd as I stared I countedThe webs from all the spidersCatching things and eating their insidesLike indecision to call youAnd hear your voice of treasonWill you come homeAnd stop this pain tonight?Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on meYou're already the voice inside my head(I miss you)Don't waste your time on meYou're already the voice inside my head(I miss you)

This one's for you

Dahil hindi ako makatulog, surf ng surf lng ako sa net tapos accidentally or whatever you'd want to call it, nabasa ko blog mo for me. First thing's first. Thank you po! Kasi kahit na hindi kita napapansin, nandiyan ka lang parati for me. Sorry din if ever you find me "snob". Hindi ko lang po talaga ugali na alam mo na. I mean, may instances kasi dba na kung mapalapit loob ng tao sayo, baka mahulog, masaktan mo pa. Iniiwasan ko po talaga yun. In your case, talagang hindi kita napansin dati kasi nature ko po talaga yun. I only talk to people close to me. Minsan nga kahit barkada ko, di ko pinapansin. :'D Sorry talaga. Second, I appreciate the things na ginawa mo for me. Kahit na hindi ko masusuklian yung pagmamahal mo, know that I'm one of the people who appreciates your worth as a person and most importantly as a lady. Remember what I said? Someday you'll find the right guy for you. Don't chase love. Wait for it. Thank you so much. I'm writing this blog with a grateful heart and I want you to know that this one's for you. :)

P.S. Wala akong FB at Twitter. Okay? and, I'm not a texter. Pero inform me if birthday mo, I'll greet. That's a promise. ^___^ HAHA. :')

and one more thing. . .this made me laugh:

"dahil sa ex nya kaya sya nawala../imissyou so much Jonas :'("

HAHA :D nakakatuwa ka naman. ^____^ ex pa tuloy. :'P TAKE CARE! God bless you!

A F^ckin' Fact

I hate the fact that the person i'm thinking of always doesn't think that i'm thinking of her. ><
I hate the fact that I have to put extra effort just to know what the hell is going on with your life. (May private2 ka pang nalalaman--". Too bad. I'm the kind of guy who will do anything just to know kung kamusta ka na.)
I hate the fact that despite and in spite of everything, I still care.
I hate the fact that I am supposed to hate you but I can't because you are so dear to me.
I hate the fact that I'm still tanga after all the things that happened.
I hate the fact that I get hurt whenever I hear your name.
I hate the fact that it's not me who's taking care of you.
Above all, I hate the fact that my heart still longs for you. I keep teaching it to forget you but it seems to have a mind of it's own. I can't blame it though. I'm still into you and that's a FUCKIN' FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It couldn't be with me

I heard you like PURPLE AND GREY combined. So I tried.

Matutulog na dapat ako, pero may isang tao na hanggang ngayon di pa rin umaalis sa isipan ko. :/ I'm pretty sure marami-rami na rin ang naka experience nito. No matter how hard you try, you just can't help but think of that person over and over again even if the thought of him/her kills you already.

Ang pinakaayaw ko sa lahat yung mag move on. Lalo na kung wala naman talaga dapat kalimutan kasi in the first place wala naman talagang "KAYO" na nangyari. Uso na ba yan ngayon? Naman oh, sumabay pa ako. Di ko alam, ang sakit pala. Yung nagmamahal ka pero walang commitment. Yung nagmamahal ka pero wala naman palang patutunguhan. Yung nagmamahal ka pero hanggang dun nlng talaga. </3

Grabeh ako magmahal. Loyal kung loyal. Kaya kung masaktan din, WAGAS. I've been single for almost 2 years now. Pero sa panahong yun, may minahal naman ako ng sobra. Hinding-hindi ko pagsisihan na minahal ko siya. My only regret is losing her for another man.

Kagabi, I went out with some guy friends to find consolation. For the first time, nalasing ako ng di ko namalayan. I don't really drink pero kinailangan kong gawin para may pag hugutan ako ng lakas ng loob at masabi ko lahat ng nararamdaman ko. I didn't cry though. Hindi dahil sa nahiya ako sa mga kaibigan ko pero siguro dahil nasanay na ako sa sakit at naubusan na ako ng luha na maaari pang ilabas.

I went home at 3am kanina. At sa pag-uwi ko, iniwanan ko ng isang tanong ang mga kaibigan ko: "Does loving mean letting go? Or holding on?" Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot nila. Sabog na sabog na ako and I needed to drive myself home. Thank God I arrived safe and sound.

Paggising ko kaninang umaga, una kong kinuha cellphone ko. Di ko alam bakit. Unusual nga eh. Pero siguro batid ng utak ko na sinagot ng mga kaibigan ko ang tanong ko. Well, iba-iba sagot nila. Lahat convincing kaya mas lalo akong nalito. Pero medyo nalinawan naman ang pag-iisip ko.

Like Bob Marley, I believe that only once in your life that you'll find someone who could completely turn your world around. Only once will you ever find someone you'd share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never and will never be achieved and the many disappointments life has and will throw at you.

Know what, I cannot help but see Blair in you and Chuck in me. These lines make me wanna cry a river of tears:

Blair: Why did you just do that?

Chuck: Because of what you said earlier.

Blair: About being happy? Chuck, that’s not the most important thing. People don’t write sonnets about being compatible, or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversation. The great loves are the crazy ones. L’amour fou.

Chuck: Blair we’re not living in Paris in the 20s.

Blair: We both wish we were.

Chuck: There’s a difference between a great love and the right love. I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn’t show. Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn’t want it ‘cause you’ve never had it and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale.

Blair: We make our own fairytales.

Chuck: Only when we have to. You don’t. How do you feel about tonight?

Blair: Awful. I just… terrible. In fact I’ve never, felt like this before.

Chuck: Guilt. I feel it too. Maybe I’m actually growing up after all.

Blair: I didn’t wanna let you go just yet.

Chuck: Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not powerful. You’re the most powerful woman I know.

Blair: It’s taking all the power I have to walk away from you.

Chuck: I know. But I need to let you go. You need to let go.

Blair: I will always love you.

Chuck: I will always love you.

Ay that shit. </3

YOU know what, MY WORLD could have been a lot easier if I did not know you. That's very true. But, it wouldn't be MY WORLD WITHOUT YOU IN IT. So nevertheless, I am grateful.

Girl, I wanted to tell you things that I've never shared with another soul. I so wanted that when something wonderful happens to me, you'd be the first person to know it. I keep on dreaming about so many things that could possibly happen between you and me if given the chance. But damn, everything just ended so soon.

Yung sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon, talo pa yung previous relationships ko ah. T_T Grabeh ang tama ko sayo. :( Alam ko naghintay ka, at sorry kung nainip ka. Pero isang bagay ang tinitiyak ko sayo. Ang lalaki, pag nagmahal ng tunay, di basta-bastang nakakapagsabi ng tunay na nararamdaman. Kaya kung may makilala ka in the future, tas the next day sasabihin niyang mahal ka niya, wag kang maniwala.

Tama na siguro sa mga hinanakit ko. Wala naman tong patutunguhan. :( Masasabi ko lng, CONGRATS! Sana maging masaya ka. No joke. I really wish you two well. Sana rin tumagal kayo. 

Sakit mag mahal ng isang tulad mo. Hirap kalimutan pero para sayo, kakayanin ko. Promise ko, hindi kita guguluhin. Promise ko, pipilitin kong maging maligaya para sayo.

I may not be able to open my heart for a new lover right now, but someday, I will.

For the last time, THANK YOU! We might not have spent REAL TIME TOGETHER but I was contented in just having you in my heart. Things that never interested me before became fascinating to me because I knew they're important to you.

It's really difficult to move on and forget my feelings for you because I think of of you on every occasion and in everything that I do. Simple things bring the thought of you to my mind; like when I see a doodle, a skull, a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon.

The day I have loved you, I opened my heart to the chance that it may be broken one day. I knew that it'll cause me too much pain but I didn't mind. I didn't listen to what my friends said. I didn't give a damn of what the people think about me.

I AM REALLY IN PAIN RIGHT NOW but the experience of love and joy I felt with you surpasses the feeling of hatred. UNTIL NOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HATE YOU. :( Until now, I am IN LOVE WITH YOU. T_T

But you see, things are quite different. In just a snap, you found a replacement. I mean, there's nothing to replace because I never had that spot in your life. But really, it hurts. IT FUCKINGLY HURTS. T_T

Go on now with your life. Always remember, I ONLY WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY. I'M SO SORRY IF IT COULDN'T BE WITH ME. <////3