Wednesday, August 29, 2012

ASDFGHJKL

Warning: This will surely be my lamest post, ever.

First, I don't know what to name this shit i'm making. Second, I don't know what to write about. I'm just counting on these words flowing out of my head due to the unfathomable anger I am feeling right now. Third, everything just seems so wrong.

I just came back from Somewhere Far and I am not quite sure of what will happen next. I thought I was going to enjoy it but I ended up miserable during the trip. Miserable to the point of losing my invaluable camera at the airport (I'm sorry sisters, all the pictures are there and yeah I got a piece of mom's @#$%, if you know what I mean). Shit happens, eh? Could someone out there spell lucky for me?

Okay. I actually don't give a damn about my lost camera. Humility aside, I can always buy and get a replacement. But what's actually worse than losing one of your treasured things is losing one of the people you love. Aaah, I can even hardly say the word love now. I'm such a dumb ass. Sorry.

Things could have REALLY ended, at least that's what I think after not getting a word from you, but I wish you knew I never intended to. I take the blame of course because the problem is with me. You were perfect after all (I have my own qualifications of perfect).

There's one thing that I would like you to know, or maybe others as well. I have always believed that the greatest mistake a guy could ever make is allowing other guys to make his girl smile. And once I fall into such  mistake, even my own hopes turn upside-down. Unlike girls, us guys can't help but keep quiet whenever we feel yeah that (I don't wanna say the word). Personally, I don't have the right to feel yeah that. But you see, I was in love, or think I was. But hell yeah, I WAS and STILL AM? I don't know.

We're like this far: YOU --------------------------------------------------------------------------- ME
and I cannot not think of you needing someone beside you whenever you feel blue and I am here doing nothing. That gives me pain, just so you know.

And so yeah. When I saw you happy with someone else, I thought of moving a step back. Maybe it's not me who's gonna make your smile a mile wide. Maybe it's not me who's gonna make your tears dry. Maybe it's not me who's gonna make your life a fairy tale. And maybe, i'm just not the right one for you.

Ayyyy! Does all of these things even matter to you now? I don't know. And I don't think so. I've always thought that you're the kind of person who could easily forget. I'm sorry I said that. But that's what I feel. Sorry. But then again, i'm hoping you won't because you promised (how dare me mention about promises when I myself couldn't keep one, again, SORRY).

I just hope that you'll be fine. I'll be watching, that I swear in the name of my name. :'D Now, I kid. I just wanna console myself. Anyway, I wanna let you know also that once upon a time I said this to myself: I think we look cute together. Wait no. We really look cute together. :')

'Til we meet, my love.